|Israel Resource Review
||4th October, 1999
the Israel Resource
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Provocative Settler Birth Unravels Nerves in Judea
Sara Bedein gave birth on 17th September, 1999 to yet another gingy,
Rehuma Leah, a bouncing buttercheeks sister to Noam, Rivka,
Elchanon, Leora, and Meira, and intends to ring her as yet
another settler to live at 9 Lotam Street in the Old City of
Efrat just after Yom Kippur.
This provacative act of settler expansion caused the immediate emergency
session of the UN insecurity council and the US National Security Council,
chaired by Sandy Burger-king, whose namesake just withdrew its buns from
the vest bank in anger.
Dennis Rust, firing off a hasty telegram to Yossi Saris and Shulamit
Baloney of the Sheretz party, demanded that conduminimums be immediately
erected for the unsettled settlers of Efrat, and that David Bedein be sent
for immediate counsel at Clinika Off.
Reached for comment at Daf Yummy, David Bedein claimed that he
only found out about the pregnancy via the internet nine months
ago, and had the baby changed from boy to girl so that he would
not have to call up the "e-moyel" for a cut of the profits on
the net. Rabbi Risk would have made the unkindest cut of all.
Asked about possibilities of artificial insemination through the internet,
people were heard to be singing "semen, semen tov, and mazel, mazel tov"
in schules throughout Efrat upon hearing the news.
In a statement from the Vite House, it was announced that US Secretary of
state Madalyn unBright would immediately dispatch special US presidential
birthcontrol envoy Monica Leudinsky to help settlers practice on bypass routes
so as to unsettle their sexual driving habits so that they may conduct
safe conjugal encounters that will not produce any more such unexpected
gingy additions to their illegal expansions in Judea.
End of Release
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Freedom with Justice:
Prof. Irwin Cotler's Presentation on the
Subject of Freeing Terrorists in the Context of International Law
by E. J. Bliner
On September 14, 1999, the renowned international human rights
lawyer and professor of law at McGill University, Irwin Cotler,
delivered a comprehensive presentation at the Beit Agron
International Press Center concerning the current release of
Palestinian Arabs who had been convicted of murder and attempted
murder in the context of terror activities.
The Palestinian Authority and the PLO define these people as "political
Cotler carefully explained that Israel's freeing of these
"political prisoners" (which he argued from international law
were not political prisoners at all, but rather terrorists)
actually violated the following fundamental principals of
First, Cotler explained, states are obligated to prosecute and
punish violators of international crimes such as terrorism as a
matter of fidelity to the rule of law.
Second, people who commit international crimes such as terrorist
acts are considered "hostis humani generis", or the enemies of
all humankind. As such, all states have the legal
responsibility to prosecute and punish the terrorists.
Third, violators of international crimes bear criminal
responsibility for their actions, and states are therefore
obliged to prosecute and punish any perpetrators.
Finally, each victim of terrorism deserves the right to due
process and the "right to justice."
Since any kind of amnesty or pardon granted for violators of
international crimes would removes the victims' right to
justice, freeing Palestinian terrorists would be a flagrant
disregard and breach of international humanitarian law.
Aside from explicating how the release of Palestinian terrorist
defies international law, Cotler also upbraided Israel's Justice
Minister Yossi Beilin's rationale for releasing the Palestinian
According to Cotler, no perpetrator of international crimes,
regardless of religion, should be granted amnesty according to
international law. In that context, Cotler also rebuked
Beilin's notion that Jewish murders should not be released from
prison (because they acted alone in committing a murder) while
Palestinian convicts should be freed (since they pursued
Palestinian national interests, which have now reconciled by the
State of Israel.)
Although most of Cotler's breifing was dedicated to the issue
of prisoner release, he also spent time praising a landmark
decision by the Israeli Supreme Court which forbid the use of
torture during interrogation, even of terrorists.
By applying basic principals of international law, the Court
ruled that Shabak (Israel's Security Service) would no longer be
allowed to use torture in order to extract information about
potential terrorists or terrorist attacks. Cotler urged Israel
to apply international humanitarian laws to the issue of
Palestinian prisoner release just as it did in the Shabak case.
Prof. Irwin Cotler, who has represented tens of poltical
prisoners and human rights figures throughout the world over the
past thirty years, including Nelson Mandela, Andre Sacharov and
Natan Scharansky, he noted that not one of them had ever been
convicted of terror activity. The difference between the
Palestinian Arab convicts who expect to be released and the
prisoners whom Cotler has represented through the years could
not be more clearly pronounced.
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